Escape of the Baby

Why do I take Tyce shopping with me? I have asked myself this many times and yet continue to hope for the best on the next trip. I took him to Roberts with me because all I had to buy was some ribbon. The moment we walked into the store he started trying to run away from me. Each time I would pick him up and hold him as he kicked and screamed until my arms got too tired and then the whole thing would start again with him trying to run off. Had he stayed with me all along the shopping would have lasted all of 5 minutes.

When I finally had my ribbon selection in my arms (and began to wonder why I didn't get a cart), Tyce took off toward the back of the store. I happened to have about 10 spools of ribbon in my arms (one falling with each step and then another falling each time I would reach down to grab the first one that fell). I decided to go up the next isle over and cut him off. Well, at some point he decided to change course and headed to the front of the store instead. As I approached the back wall I realized that he had outsmarted me. As I quickened my pace to the front of the store, I tried to fight off the sick feeling that he had run out the front doors of the store into the parking lot. I began the embarrassing but necessary task of yelling out Tyce's name in all directions as I scanned each isle on my way to the store's entrance. At the front of the store was a lovely store clerk holding my little Tyce and giving him a balloon. (Because he is sooo cute and innocent and his bad mommy can't even keep track of her barely-2-year-old little darling while she shops).

"I'll take that little boy off your hands," I said nearly out-of-breath. Just then an eruption of laughter and chuckles erupted from behind me. I turned around to see a line of at least 15 people watching all the events unfold. Another great humiliating mommy moment for me.

The Curse of the Garage Door

No, I didn't run into the garage door with my car again. (Thank goodness!). I was hurriedly (is that a word?) putting my kiddos in the car so I could make it to my aerobics class on time (for once), and then I pushed the wall button that opens the garage (since my remote opener has been suspended from my possession indefinitely). I closed the car door to the back seat only to have the emergency release string for the garage door get slammed into the top of the car door as the garage door was almost to the top. As I realized what I had done I quickly opened the door but was a milisecond too late. The emergency release had disengaged the garage door and it went slamming to the ground with a bang.

I tried for awhile to get the garage door hooked back up to the chain, but after what seemed like forever, I let my squealing kids go back inside and realized the gym was not going to happen today. I called Ryan and even consulted the unhelpful garage-door-owners-manual to see if I could figure this out on my own so we wouldn't be trapped at the house all day. If you know me at all you know that I am clumsy and uncoordinated to begin with, but it is magnified when I try to do anything of a "handyman" nature. Despite this unfortunate characteristic of mine, I was able to get the dang-stupid-dumb-cursed thing working in less than an hour. Gym back on baby.

Well, maybe not. When I went inside to collect the boys Talan was running down the hall with poop all over his legs. "I tried to call for you mom but you didn't hear me!" Talan cried. That's because I was fixing the garage door that is trying to kill me. After cleaning him up I began to find poop smears scattered throughtout the house.....on the shower wall, the bathroom counter, his dresser, in Tyce's room and on the outside of at least four other diapers. Poop is my life.

Outhouse

Does my house look like a toilet to you? I guess it does to my children. Tyce has out-smarted the onsie technique and has resorted to unsnapping, undiapering, and undoing all my best efforts to keep my carpets clean by peeing in about 5 different places today. I think I am officially sick of scrubbing my carpets!!!! I just had them steam cleaned a month ago and I think I will invest in it again. What am I supposed to do with him???? He is so naughty and he knows he is not supposed to do it because when he realizes he has been busted he starts smiling, laughing, and running away from me. What a turkey. I just wish he would point out the puddles to me first before my sock finds it for me.

Talan decided to undo being completely potty-trained by "skidding" in multiple pairs of underwear today, hiding them in various garbages, and attempting to wipe all by his little own self. I can handle that. It is when I find streaks of brown poop painted on different walls throughout the house that I sort of start to lose it. I just don't get it. He also left a lovely yellow trail of pee down the hall and across the bathroom floor because running with your pants down when you have to go isn't always the best option. At least it wasn't as bad as finding poop chunks down the hall like last week when he decided to go commando in his spiderman costume and didn't quite make it to the toilet in time. I am probably going to get sick from all the chlorox and cleaners I have been inadvertently inhaling as I attempt to sterilize my house and consider getting sterilized myself. (Just kidding mom....sort of)...

Just a Mom

Last night at work I was asked by my boss why I didn't work fulltime. "Are you just a mom?" Wow. While some moms may be offended by that, I actually was not. I wanted to say "Being a mom is my REAL job; here I'm just a nurse." I know that to some people being a mom isn't recognized as being as important as careers and professions, but to me striving to be the best mom and wife is the most important work that I do. Even when it's tough. Even when I feel like my efforts go unrewarded and unnoticed. Even when I feel like I am failing completely.

Found this quote today and thought I'd share....

"Motherhood brings as much joy as ever, but it still brings boredom, exhaustion, and sorrow too. Nothing else ever will make you as happy or as sad, as proud or as tired, for nothing is quite as hard as helping a person develop his own individuality especially while you struggle to keep your own." -Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons

Not the Onsie!

Since Tyce has made it a sport of removing his pants and diaper at every opportunity and then peeing on the carpet, I have started putting a onsie on him to make it harder for him to undress and to prevent our house from becoming condemned due to urinary contamination. The other day he tried to protest this new strategy of mine by saying, "NO, not the baby costume!!!"

Potty-word Fest

In the last couple of weeks my cute little innocent not-even-2-year-old Tyce has mastered a few of the following words: (mind you his vocabulary only consists of about 50 distinguishible words to begin with).....

1. "Stupid"
2. "Dumb" (Those are usually said when he is yelling and pointing at someone that is bugging him.
3. "Kill"
4. "Spank ya bum, spank ya bum" and....
5. "Shake ya bum, shake ya bum" ( while sticking his bottom out and shakin' it).

Thank you soooo much big brother for teaching him all of these choice words and accompanying actions.