My thoughts on this Mothers Day....
8 years ago
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Pumpkin Carving Gag Fest
I was downstairs the other night when Ryan and Talan began carving pumpkins. All the sudden I hear "Bri, Talan needs your help." I run upstairs to find Talan hunched over in full-body wretching. Each time he stood up he would look at the slimy-pumpkinseeded goo all over his hands and start gagging again. It wasn't until I could stop laughing and wash his arms off that the dry-heaving stopped. I guess carving pumpkings wasn't what he expected so he resorted to coloring the other pumpkins with markers.
"Puffy Girl Things"
The other day Talan brought his spiderman costume to Ryan and announced that he would no longer wear it. When asked why he simple stated "It has puffy girl things." Huh? "What puffy girl things?" Ryan asked. "You know, with the 'ipples." (He thinks nipples are called 'ipples and I haven't corrected him yet). Apparently the spiderman costume muscles were a little to "puffy" and girl-like in the bust area for him.
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Top Ten Miserable Moments (this month)
I wasn't going to post again until I had something positive and uplifting to write. However, too many lousy things have happened since my last post and I thought I would share it all with you. As a warning you should probably know that you will think I am not very bright at the end of this. I am thinking that I might have early-onset ahlzheimers or that I suffered permanent brain damage in my last car accident. Here goes:
10. BACKING INTO THE GARAGE DOOR AGAIN! (Read previous post before reading this). After backing into my garage door a second time, I realized that it was my fault the first time too! Out of habit I will push the garage door button and then put the car in reverse. I then look in my rearview mirror until the garage door is out of sight before I back up. Well, since my garage door was already up when we loaded into the car, the garage door started going down as I got ready to reverse. Looking into the mirror, I didn't see the garage door because it was just starting to go down, so (working in auto pilot) I started to reverse. Same crashing noise as before and then it hit me. I was the one to blame!!! (Sorry Talan and Tanner for blaming you last time). (and Ry, sorry for being an idiot). Needless to say, I had trapped the car in the garage again.
9. MESSING UP ROLLS AND JELLO (you didn't think that was possible, did you?). My mom invited us to dinner and I was going to bring rolls and jello. Simple enough. After watching the rolls sit on the cookie sheet for an hour without rising, I realized that I had gotten the yeast out of the fridge, but had failed to actually put it into the dough. I even put the yeast back into the fridge without realizing that I had failed to use it. While the rolls weren't rising, I made jello and put it in the fridge to cool. Later when I realized I had to make more dough, I went to get the yeast out of the fridge and saw very tiny handprints on my jello and chunks missing from the middle. Thank you Tyce. When we started making more jello, I realized that I needed 2 more cups of water in the first batch anyways. Honestly, who messes up JELLO?
8. BACKING INTO THE GARAGE DOOR.... AGAIN. If you think it wouldn't be possible to make this mistage yet again, you are wrong. Yes, I did it again. However, the car was not so lucky this time, Instead of the bike rack saving the car from true damage, the garage door hit the top of the car and left some beautiful scratches. Then the garage door wouldn't go up or down. I put the car in park and tried to push the garage back up but it wouldn't stay up. There I am standing on the back of my car holding up the garage door and looking around to make sure none of my neighbors see what I have done (yet again). Then I realize that if I let go of the garage door it will scratch and possible dent the car again. I started calling my nearest neighbors to see if they would come rescue me. No luck there. Then (thank goodness) my neighbor happened to be walking across the street and quickly came to my rescue. She held up the garage while I backed the car out. On the bright side, at least I hadn't trapped us in the garage again. Not so bright side, I have to tell Ryan he gets to fix the garage door again. It is amazing the with all the dents and parts hanging off the bottom of the garage door that it still works. My garage door opener has been confiscated and I get to use the wall button or the keypad. Good job Bri.
7. FALLING ASLEEP WITH COOKIES IN THE OVEN. Thank goodness I didn't burn the house down and kill us all. It was the last batch (which I often briefly forget about and burn) but it was late and I was a little tired. I decided to lay on my bed and watch TV until the cookies finished. Next thing I know Ryan is waking me up over an hour later! He had just come home from a meeting and noticed the smell. I am suprised (and very grateful) that there wasn't more smoke. My sweet boys were sleeping in their rooms and I hate to think what could've happened had Ryan not come home when he did.
6. TYCE FALLING OUT OF THE SHOPPING CART. My cute boy wanted to help dad put stuff from Home Depot into the back of the car and over-reached. He fell and landed on his head and back. He just cried for a minute and thankfully was just fine.
5. LEAVING TUPPERWARE LIDS ON A HOT OVEN BURNER. (That's right....LIDS. There was more than one). After making macaroni for the kids I started on some spagetti for Ryan. I took the sauce out of the fridge and put it in the microwave. The lid was a little to close to the burner that I cooked the macaroni on and it started to melt. After throwing the lid outside and turning on the fan, I thought we were in the clear. I finished making the spagetti and then began the kitchen cleanup. I don't even know how, but at some point I put another lid on the burner that the noodles had been cooking on. I started to wonder why the burnt plastic smell seemed to be getting worse. Now I have 2 tupperware containers without matching lids and I need to get 2 new oven burners. And we will probably get lung cancer from inhaling all the burnt plastic. (I know, housewife of the year).
4. TYCE TAKING OFF HIS DIAPER AND PANTS 20 TIMES A DAY. I don't know why he does it, but he seems to think it is REALLY funny when he takes off the diaper and then pees on the carpet. Masking tape doesn't work because he just slides the diaper off. I am considered permanent overalls.
3. FINDING AN ENTIRE PITCHER OF JUICE SPILLED OUT ON MY HALL CARPET. I had just emerged from the bathroom to find Tyce in my room trying to open a bottle of ketchup. Wow, that was a close call. Disaster averted. His hair looked a little wet but I just figured he had been splashing in the toilet again. On my way to the kitchen I see a huge puddle of orange juice soaking into my recently steam-cleaned carpet. Apparently Tyce was thirsty and decided to walk onto the carpet before attempting to drink straight from the pitcher.
2. WAKING UP SOAKING WET AND WREAKING OF URINE. I'm 30 years old. I thought I was past this. Wait, my pants aren't wet, just my shirt is. TALANNNNNNN! He thought he would sneak into my bed during the night to snuggle and get warm. Then he wet the bed (and me) and went back to his bed. Thanks buddy.
1. WATCHING TYCE FALL OUT THE 2ND STORY WINDOW. This was definitely the worst moment of my whole entire life. I was laying out the pieces of a blanket in Tyce's room and it was so hot. I opened the window to let in some air. A few minutes later, Tyce ran in (without a diaper, of course) so I put a new diaper on him. He climbed up on the window sill and started talking and yelling at some kids playing outside. The screen was on so I didn't even think anything of it. It was kinda cute watching him dance and laugh and talk to the kids outside. Next thing I know I hear him cry out and I look up to see him going head first out the bottom of the window. The screen had popped out and he had tumbled forward. I was sure I was going to find my baby boy's lifeless body on the driveway below. I was to the window in 1/2 a second and with more relief than you can imagine, I saw his body clutching to the roof that extends out from his window at a downward slant. His precious little face was looking up at me. "It boke (broke) mama." I pulled him up and hugged that sweet boy all night. My crying and guilt has continued for days, but I have never been more thankful for a miracle in my life.
10. BACKING INTO THE GARAGE DOOR AGAIN! (Read previous post before reading this). After backing into my garage door a second time, I realized that it was my fault the first time too! Out of habit I will push the garage door button and then put the car in reverse. I then look in my rearview mirror until the garage door is out of sight before I back up. Well, since my garage door was already up when we loaded into the car, the garage door started going down as I got ready to reverse. Looking into the mirror, I didn't see the garage door because it was just starting to go down, so (working in auto pilot) I started to reverse. Same crashing noise as before and then it hit me. I was the one to blame!!! (Sorry Talan and Tanner for blaming you last time). (and Ry, sorry for being an idiot). Needless to say, I had trapped the car in the garage again.
9. MESSING UP ROLLS AND JELLO (you didn't think that was possible, did you?). My mom invited us to dinner and I was going to bring rolls and jello. Simple enough. After watching the rolls sit on the cookie sheet for an hour without rising, I realized that I had gotten the yeast out of the fridge, but had failed to actually put it into the dough. I even put the yeast back into the fridge without realizing that I had failed to use it. While the rolls weren't rising, I made jello and put it in the fridge to cool. Later when I realized I had to make more dough, I went to get the yeast out of the fridge and saw very tiny handprints on my jello and chunks missing from the middle. Thank you Tyce. When we started making more jello, I realized that I needed 2 more cups of water in the first batch anyways. Honestly, who messes up JELLO?
8. BACKING INTO THE GARAGE DOOR.... AGAIN. If you think it wouldn't be possible to make this mistage yet again, you are wrong. Yes, I did it again. However, the car was not so lucky this time, Instead of the bike rack saving the car from true damage, the garage door hit the top of the car and left some beautiful scratches. Then the garage door wouldn't go up or down. I put the car in park and tried to push the garage back up but it wouldn't stay up. There I am standing on the back of my car holding up the garage door and looking around to make sure none of my neighbors see what I have done (yet again). Then I realize that if I let go of the garage door it will scratch and possible dent the car again. I started calling my nearest neighbors to see if they would come rescue me. No luck there. Then (thank goodness) my neighbor happened to be walking across the street and quickly came to my rescue. She held up the garage while I backed the car out. On the bright side, at least I hadn't trapped us in the garage again. Not so bright side, I have to tell Ryan he gets to fix the garage door again. It is amazing the with all the dents and parts hanging off the bottom of the garage door that it still works. My garage door opener has been confiscated and I get to use the wall button or the keypad. Good job Bri.
7. FALLING ASLEEP WITH COOKIES IN THE OVEN. Thank goodness I didn't burn the house down and kill us all. It was the last batch (which I often briefly forget about and burn) but it was late and I was a little tired. I decided to lay on my bed and watch TV until the cookies finished. Next thing I know Ryan is waking me up over an hour later! He had just come home from a meeting and noticed the smell. I am suprised (and very grateful) that there wasn't more smoke. My sweet boys were sleeping in their rooms and I hate to think what could've happened had Ryan not come home when he did.
6. TYCE FALLING OUT OF THE SHOPPING CART. My cute boy wanted to help dad put stuff from Home Depot into the back of the car and over-reached. He fell and landed on his head and back. He just cried for a minute and thankfully was just fine.
5. LEAVING TUPPERWARE LIDS ON A HOT OVEN BURNER. (That's right....LIDS. There was more than one). After making macaroni for the kids I started on some spagetti for Ryan. I took the sauce out of the fridge and put it in the microwave. The lid was a little to close to the burner that I cooked the macaroni on and it started to melt. After throwing the lid outside and turning on the fan, I thought we were in the clear. I finished making the spagetti and then began the kitchen cleanup. I don't even know how, but at some point I put another lid on the burner that the noodles had been cooking on. I started to wonder why the burnt plastic smell seemed to be getting worse. Now I have 2 tupperware containers without matching lids and I need to get 2 new oven burners. And we will probably get lung cancer from inhaling all the burnt plastic. (I know, housewife of the year).
4. TYCE TAKING OFF HIS DIAPER AND PANTS 20 TIMES A DAY. I don't know why he does it, but he seems to think it is REALLY funny when he takes off the diaper and then pees on the carpet. Masking tape doesn't work because he just slides the diaper off. I am considered permanent overalls.
3. FINDING AN ENTIRE PITCHER OF JUICE SPILLED OUT ON MY HALL CARPET. I had just emerged from the bathroom to find Tyce in my room trying to open a bottle of ketchup. Wow, that was a close call. Disaster averted. His hair looked a little wet but I just figured he had been splashing in the toilet again. On my way to the kitchen I see a huge puddle of orange juice soaking into my recently steam-cleaned carpet. Apparently Tyce was thirsty and decided to walk onto the carpet before attempting to drink straight from the pitcher.
2. WAKING UP SOAKING WET AND WREAKING OF URINE. I'm 30 years old. I thought I was past this. Wait, my pants aren't wet, just my shirt is. TALANNNNNNN! He thought he would sneak into my bed during the night to snuggle and get warm. Then he wet the bed (and me) and went back to his bed. Thanks buddy.
1. WATCHING TYCE FALL OUT THE 2ND STORY WINDOW. This was definitely the worst moment of my whole entire life. I was laying out the pieces of a blanket in Tyce's room and it was so hot. I opened the window to let in some air. A few minutes later, Tyce ran in (without a diaper, of course) so I put a new diaper on him. He climbed up on the window sill and started talking and yelling at some kids playing outside. The screen was on so I didn't even think anything of it. It was kinda cute watching him dance and laugh and talk to the kids outside. Next thing I know I hear him cry out and I look up to see him going head first out the bottom of the window. The screen had popped out and he had tumbled forward. I was sure I was going to find my baby boy's lifeless body on the driveway below. I was to the window in 1/2 a second and with more relief than you can imagine, I saw his body clutching to the roof that extends out from his window at a downward slant. His precious little face was looking up at me. "It boke (broke) mama." I pulled him up and hugged that sweet boy all night. My crying and guilt has continued for days, but I have never been more thankful for a miracle in my life.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Garage Door Disaster
Last week I was getting ready to go to the chiropracter. I had to take Talan's friend home first, so I had Talan and Tanner climb into the car and I buckled Tyce in his car seat. I ran back in the house to get my keys and then came and started the car. As I began backing up the car I felt the car hit something and heard a loud crashing sound. I stopped the car and looked behind the car to find that the garage door was down about 2 feet. I guess the kids had pushed the garage door button and as it started to close, they pushed it again which made it stop. It was up high enough that I didn't notice it when I got in the car. The bike rack on the car had hit the garage door and now the garage door would not go up. I pulled the car forward and watchedthe garage door slam to the ground with a BANG. Oh crap!
I got out to survey the damage, which to my suprise the car was unharmed. The garage door was not so lucky. It was now bent outward in the center and off of the rollers on the edges. After pushing, banging, and hammering on the dang thing for almost an hour I had it back on track except for one last roller. Despite my best efforts I could not get it back in. I cancelled my appointment and ended up walking Tanner home since my car was now officially trapped in the garage. I'm glad we didn't have anywhere important that we had to be!
I got out to survey the damage, which to my suprise the car was unharmed. The garage door was not so lucky. It was now bent outward in the center and off of the rollers on the edges. After pushing, banging, and hammering on the dang thing for almost an hour I had it back on track except for one last roller. Despite my best efforts I could not get it back in. I cancelled my appointment and ended up walking Tanner home since my car was now officially trapped in the garage. I'm glad we didn't have anywhere important that we had to be!
"Mommy, I have to go poo."
So it has been awhile since my last post, but I have been overwhelmed on a daily basis of what I could write on here and had to take a break to spare everyone the details of our daily mishaps. But I am back for now.....so here is the latest.
The other day I was running errands and thought I could squeeze in one trip to Costco's photo counter before my doctor appointment. Of course there were no parking spots near the entrance, so we hauled all the way from the end of the lot into the store. It was freezing, the wind was blowing, and my kids were getting restless. We got to the the photo counter and as I waited for the person in line ahead of me to finish, my kids started being silly and running away from me. Why didn't I have a cart for my unruly children you ask? Why would I need one....we are just going to be in-and-out to pick up pictures from the counter right near the entrance. Of course Tyce takes off full-speed into the store. By the time I caught up with him and returned to the photo counter I had lost my place in line and had to start again at the back. Tyce was ticked-off that I would prevent him from exploring the store and he decided to scream and kick and hit me. But I am strong and he was no match for my grasp. It was a LONG few minutes as I stood there and waited my turn with him freaking out, but we made it.
After a long and freezing cold walk back to the car I began the struggle to buckle Tyce in his carseat (he hates being restrained in any way so each car ride, stroller ride, and cart ride are a battle to get him seatbelted). Finally he was in. I asked Talan to sit down and buckle up when he informed me "Mommy, I have to go poo." "Can you hold it?" I asked. "No mommy." Seriously?? You've been holding it for 4 days and you can't wait 10 more minutes??? We haul back down the parking lot in the freezing wind and back into Costco. Of course the bathroom is at the other end of the store, but we made it. As Talan sat down to do his business, Tyce decided it would be fun to run into all the empty stalls and try to splash in the toilets. I was trying to hold Talan's door shut to give him privacy, but I'm not ok with Tyce covered in toilet water. I kept pulling him out of stalls and then going back to close Talan's stall so he would stop screaming that everyone would be able to see his private parts. Tyce was so mad that I wouldn't let him play in the toilets that he just flung himself onto the floor and started rolling around on the bathroom floor. I'm not sure what is worse....toilet water or an icky bathroom floor. Whatever. Then Talan emerges and announces he didn't need to go anymore. You've got to be kidding me. Back to the car boys!
The other day I was running errands and thought I could squeeze in one trip to Costco's photo counter before my doctor appointment. Of course there were no parking spots near the entrance, so we hauled all the way from the end of the lot into the store. It was freezing, the wind was blowing, and my kids were getting restless. We got to the the photo counter and as I waited for the person in line ahead of me to finish, my kids started being silly and running away from me. Why didn't I have a cart for my unruly children you ask? Why would I need one....we are just going to be in-and-out to pick up pictures from the counter right near the entrance. Of course Tyce takes off full-speed into the store. By the time I caught up with him and returned to the photo counter I had lost my place in line and had to start again at the back. Tyce was ticked-off that I would prevent him from exploring the store and he decided to scream and kick and hit me. But I am strong and he was no match for my grasp. It was a LONG few minutes as I stood there and waited my turn with him freaking out, but we made it.
After a long and freezing cold walk back to the car I began the struggle to buckle Tyce in his carseat (he hates being restrained in any way so each car ride, stroller ride, and cart ride are a battle to get him seatbelted). Finally he was in. I asked Talan to sit down and buckle up when he informed me "Mommy, I have to go poo." "Can you hold it?" I asked. "No mommy." Seriously?? You've been holding it for 4 days and you can't wait 10 more minutes??? We haul back down the parking lot in the freezing wind and back into Costco. Of course the bathroom is at the other end of the store, but we made it. As Talan sat down to do his business, Tyce decided it would be fun to run into all the empty stalls and try to splash in the toilets. I was trying to hold Talan's door shut to give him privacy, but I'm not ok with Tyce covered in toilet water. I kept pulling him out of stalls and then going back to close Talan's stall so he would stop screaming that everyone would be able to see his private parts. Tyce was so mad that I wouldn't let him play in the toilets that he just flung himself onto the floor and started rolling around on the bathroom floor. I'm not sure what is worse....toilet water or an icky bathroom floor. Whatever. Then Talan emerges and announces he didn't need to go anymore. You've got to be kidding me. Back to the car boys!
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